Sunday, 20 November 2011

  • 羁绊一生

    On the 20th November, 2011, 2016 hours, she told me she has a bf.

    Yup, so there ends my pursuit for her.

    Strangely enough, I feel quite okay now. Might be the after effects of watching the awesome show "那些年，我们一起追的女孩。"

    2010, 27th December, was the day where I decide that I would take action.

    Not a year passed and she has already found a better someone.

    That kind of shows how much I stand among the rest of the guys in Singapore.

    I would judge myself currently among the 30th percentile.

    It's okay though, I would become stronger and better.

    *No, it's not okay... goddammit.*

    Oh well, maybe reality will sink in soon that I have lost her.

    Only thing I can do now?

    Laugh.

    Cosmo memories forever...................

     

Sunday, 07 August 2011

  • A Better Man

    So, she's having thoughts of migrating to Australia. Sure, I mean, nothing much in Sg that would make her stay. She can stay with her brother over there, and her family can fly over to visit her every once in a while. Yup. So there is it.

    "I can't promise much, but this I can.
    I'll be a better man than before.
    Till we meet again."


    I shall stick to the lines above.
    Everything I see her, I shall be a better man than before.

    So, how do I be a better man?

    I have given it some thoughts. There are several ways to fulfill that.

    - Financially
    - Health
    - Personality

    Financially refers to $$$ of course.
    It is further broken down into a few points.
    a) Financial Intelligence. Refers to increasing wealth through investment, stocks, property etc.. How to grow wealth
    b) Stable income job. Self explanatory.
    c) Having a car and decent savings. Car provides much fun and convenience while the savings provides a sense of security.

    Health.
    Coming from a poor genetic family, more effort needs to be put into maintaining a healthy body.
    a) Diet. Need to maintain a healthy diet, shall strive to veer away from the unhealthy eating habits of my family.
    b) Fitness. From the dawn of mankind, a female shall always choose a fitter mate.
    c) Weight/Looks. Need to streamline my body size to a decent outlook.

    Personality.
    Okay, this is a tough one. I seriously think my personality isn't the alpha male type, which most females finds attractive. So, how in the hell am I going to improve in this aspect? Few options:
    a) Knowledge. Firmly believe that the more knowledgeable one is, the more confidence one exudes.
    b) Having a stand. Have to stick by my views and philosophy. Shall not waver in the face of others.
    c) Kindness. Not sure how this affects, but I WANT to be a kind person, even though the world is rotting, I shall try my very best to maintain the innocence I once had.

    The above lists the steps in how am I going to improve myself. This is the bare minimum which my other half deserves. If I can't even do these, I might as well just live alone.

    The 1st step is always the hardest. Luckily I have some companions who would walk some of these paths with me.

    Currently, I am starting to read up on Warren Buffett's history. He is widely regarded as the best investor that is living. If you want to be good in something, always learn from the best. Am starting out with some basic theories to get me going.
    Job is coming along fine, although I got some setback, but I'm sure as hell gonna climb my way back up. It's going to take time though, would need to find a way to fast track myself.
    Owning a car is a long way down. After thinking through and prioritizing my list, I'm afraid car is listed at the bottom. Savings would be another tough portion. I'm sure after my training period ends, this aspect shall improve significantly.

    Cutting down on fried stuffs and carbohydrates. No more double portions/servings. Shall try to refrain from having late dinners, even if I have to skip dinner.
    Working out at the gym at least 3x a week. Am beginning to see some minor improvements in my overall fitness. Heck, I just did a 5.5km in 40mins! Personal best! Am so proud of myself! Shall persevere and push on!
    Am monitoring my weight closely, shall try to reduce it by 2kg every month. It's a slow start, but once I get it going, it shall be easier, hopefully. Looks is correlated to weight. After slimming down, outlook shall be improved.

    Am reading up and learning different skills and knowledge. Language is a good start. I plan to reserve 2 hours every week for revising my languages. Spanish, Korean, Japanese. Even if I can't be a adept practitioner of the language, I WILL at least be able to converse in simple terms.
    From the start of my life, I am always very easy-going. I agree with everyone, not wanting to raise their irk. Apparently, this is going to change. Will consider my stand and stick to it, even if I have to prove my point to others.
    Going to tuition the underprivileged kids at SCS. After watching the 'God of Study', am really interested in helping another person. Striving to be someone that affects the child's future instead of just another tutor.

    I know I'm not good enough for your right now, totally doesn't deserve any attention from you, but I want you to know, I am going to improve, and improve and improve till I become a man worthy of you. This, is my resolution.

    Cosmo memories forever

     

Saturday, 30 July 2011

  • Missing You

    Finally!!! After 3 months of not seeing her, I finally got to meet her! (Japanese Outing)

    Feelings which I thought were frozen burst forth like uncontrolled torrents sweeping down the waterfall.
    She looks pretty much the same, probably gained a few pounds, but that's beside the point.
    Her bubbly character, behavior, still remains, which is core. Few months of temp. work has not tainted her innocence. =)

    The whole event started out rather bad. I was the latest, even though I left office earlier on purpose.
    Kelly brought a friend along, Terrence, I think. Anyway, the moment I saw her, my heart skipped a beat, or a few beats.
    Totally cannot believe that I would STILL get to hang out with her. So we went to the ramen shop at Central, which isn't really up to their expectation. I went to the gents, and was left with the only seat facing her. I guess that wasn't her intention, unfortunately, Kelly and Terrence are seated opposite each other since she's the only one he knew.

    Walked around clark quay area after dinner. They spent like 20mins shopping for iphone covers. Girls.
    After that, we went on to walk for a bit more looking for some place for desserts. In the end, we chose Hagen Daz over TCC, like there was any competition from the start. lol

    We got a fondue, which comes with balls of ice-cream which you can dip into the choc, to make something akin to a Rocher.
    Seeing her really happy face while eating the fondue gives me immense pleasure. Though some of her innocuous remarks still bother me a bit, I'm still stuck in cloud 9.

    She mentioned that she needed to go home, not too late. Of course Kelly managed to psyco. her to stay for a drink. Went up to helipad (Indoor) for a drink. She started to warm up to my presence there. The ladies sat in the middle with the guys at the end. Naturally I took a seat next to her. She started talking to me after a while, which is really enjoyable. At a point, she even tried to sleep on my shoulders, which is too big and bulky! =(

    Day ended with me sending her home. I insisted even though she said that she's not drunk. In the cab, she mentioned about her Batam trip. Its those simple moments that gives great pleasure that is the Magic.
    She wanted to pay me for her cab fare, which I refused. The words "See you back safely is payment enough for me" got stuck in my mouth, unable to come out. Sigh. Which might not be too bad.

    I thought that I would emo after the meeting, but in fact, I felt motivated, inspired, even revitalized.
    She's a girl who would bring out the good in me, the me which I have forgotten..

    Cosmo memories forever.........................

     

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

  • The End

    Yup, just like ever other girl whom I liked. I have finally entered this familiar phase, the part where I know its the end.

    How exactly did this happen? Well, I could imagine it started right off the beginning. In fact, I think everything that I did led to this ending. And yes, am currently wallowing in self pity.

    Let me begin the story, all over again. Shall write this in a form that was inspired by a youtube video, "Strangers, again."

     

    1) Meeting

    We met in the Japanese lessons, yet I did not knew whom you were, or even what your name was. You were just a young, decent looking girl in the midst of a class of mostly working personnel. You were with a friend, seated in a 2 person table. I arrived late, and was seated with Qy. That, is our first encounter.

     2) Spark

    By chance or by fate, we started going out in a group. Our very first outing was to a Japanese restaurant, with us being Japanese language students and all, it made perfect sense. As I am considered to be in a different clique with Qy, naturally, you came with Kelly. Had loads of fun with you making fun of Takahashi sensei. That was when I found out how much I enjoyed your company. Your jovial and bubbly nature affected the people around you. You are like the angel that descends into this world to spread joy and laughter.

    Having so much fun together and being at ease with each other, another outing soon ensued. We went to the top of UOB building, 1-Altitude for a drink. Am totally clueless that you were below the age of 21, and that this was your 1st time to a drinking place, besides going with your family. Was totally freaked out by Yamamoto sensei's fainting episode. Was of two minds about sending you back as I thought Yamamoto sensei needed taking care of more. Hence, you had to travel back alone. You messaged me "Successfully fainted home!  . . .", which made me laugh. Even without realizing it, you were always able to put a smile on my face.

    Fast forward, our third outing, was to celebrate Kelly's birthday. Had dinner at Thai Express @ Raffles City. I remembered Kelly saying that you did not believe her when she said I was coming. You turned around and was surprised that I was really there. Not too sure why, but I naturally took a seat next to you. The thought of sitting next to Kelly did not even cross my mind. We had a good chat, and was deciding between bowling and KTV. We finally settled on KTV. That was when I heard your melodious voice that serenaded us. You easily triumphed over the rest of the female singers I knew. I felt like a raving maniac singing in front of you. You wanted to go home, but we somehow managed to convinced you to stay till 00:00 to wish Kelly birthday. Aaron and Kelly shared a cab, while I took one with you. Me being me, declined your payment for your share of the cab, shrugging it off as what a working adult should do when going out with a student.

    Next up comes the Crystal Jade @ Plaza Singapura. I was the first to arrive as I wanted to maintain a good image of punctuality. You were a close second. You presented me with a X'mas gift, a luggage tag which I had pinned on my work desk. As seeing the gift made me think of you, it provided me with a boost to carry on working. This was the event that changed everything. You gave without expecting anything in return. I see you in a different light. You were a cut above most girls I knew. You made an impact in me, which stirred certain feelings in me that I had buried within a cold hard wall. You allowed those feelings out. I knew what I felt. Butterflies in my stomach, cold sweaty palm. The signs that I could not contain those feelings anymore. Which led to the next stage.

    3) Development

    I asked you out for dinner, and you agreed readily. However, inside of me, it was not really a simple dinner. It was a gesture on my part to let you know how I feel about you. You were hesitant to go for the dinner as it exceeded your expectation of a simple normal dinner. You agreed in the end, though in the process, you emphasized "NORMAL DINNER" five times. I picked you up in a cab from the gates of your house. You were wearing a deep blue dress. You looked gorgeous, and I was totally bowled over. Had you touch my hand back then, all you would have felt was a icy cold hand. My heartbeat increased, started to have problem saying simple things. Butterflies swarmed all over my body. In simple terms, I felt like a retard.

    We tasted the lousiest food ever, though the view can be considered top notch. A dinner with a good ambiance, just you and me. I felt like I was living in a dream. You probably did not realized how much effort I put into planning the dinner, but it is okay. It was all planned to make this dinner an unforgettable experience.

    We made our way to Sentosa. Walking around drinking in the beautiful night views and reveling in your company. We ended up in the Sands bar, even though I wanted to bring you to Cafe Del Mar, with its mattress which we can sit and enjoy the night skies. We chatted a bit more. Unfortunately, mosquitoes had to spoil the night. The dress which you took the effort to dress up in, also bare parts of your body that attracted the hungry mosquitoes all around us. On the way back, you told me that you have never been treated this way before, and I replied saying you should get used to it. I thought that made it quite clear where I was coming from. I will treat you this way, for now, and in future, as I see you as The One. I sent you back home, and you said that it was a good dinner. Everything went well, or so I thought.

    I started to text you often. Sent you flowers to cheer you up. Concerned when you were sick. Despite my good intentions, I think all those actions made you developed negative feelings about me. I tried asking you out on Valentine's Day, which of course you rejected as you were saving the day for your special someone. That, on the contrary, made me pleased as this shows that you are not one who easily go out with someone for the sake of having someone around during Valentine's Day. I gave you a gift with a three layer surprise. It sort of made you pleased.

    I spent months trying hard to find JJ's album to complete your collection, which I finally did. It was all done just to make you happy. I feel happy when you are happy, and sad when you are sad. I felt a connection with you like no others. Only to realize that it was a one-way connection...

    4) Acquaintance

    I called you with the intention to confess to you. I just could not take it anymore. I wanted an answer, one you gave me alright. The answer which was implied without any need for words. I was dejected. I was depressed. During the diving trip, everything that I saw reminds me of you. I see you in the clouds, among the trees. Even the water reminds me of how vital you are to me. Sadly, things had to end this way. I can touch my heart and say that I gave you my all. Heaven knows how hard I tried. Cruel reality of life appears once again. Just like how a bird can't fly with one wing, I can't make things work with me alone. And there we are, back to acquaintance. Someone whom know each other, and yet, know nothing about each other...

    5) End

    I am not sure where life will bring me next, but this, I can tell you. I thank you for appearing in my life.
    You were the one who tore down the wall that I built.
    You were the one who made me experience extreme swings.
    You were the one who taught me to improve myself.
    I will always remember the love that existed, from the current me, to the current you.
    Be it ten years, twenty years down the road, this love will not be lost.
    This, I promise you.

     

    Cosmo Memories Forever...

Saturday, 19 March 2011

  • Do not repeat the same mistakes!!!

    Kept getting this nostalgic feeling. The feeling of everything going wrong.

    As usual, I am totally not cut out to chase girls, even though I do enjoy the process of chasing them, I am just not good at it.

    She kind of kept her distance, and come to me only when she needs something. Not exactly sure if that is a good thing or not, since no one of sound mind would want to come to me if they do not need something? Not really interested in those 无事不登三宝殿 kind of people. I am looking for something more 高层次 than normal people. If she does not fits in, that is just too bad. Bad judgment on my sight. And I am so sure she is the one.. Tmd.

    What has happened since the last update? Nothing much in particular.

    1) 1st time ever that I sent a get well soon card to her.

    Was heeding Germs advice that sometimes, a simple card has more personal touch, and by doing less, I am actually doing more. Totally do not understand this theory, but it works.

    2) Did a video for her on Valentine's Day.

    Spent a day rushing through the process of making a video. From conceptualizing, planning, sketching, converting to digital form, video editing, all in a day's work!

    3) 1st time ever that I queued up for an idol, JJ Lin.

    Got a hello kitty thumb drive key chain, put the video inside, and presented to her for her Valentine's Day gift. Though it was a day before the actual day, I had to queued up while she finished seeing her idol. Few hours of my life wasted to queue up for him. Messaged her at 00:00 Valentine's Day to tell her that the real present is actually inside the thumb drive key chain. She was pleasantly surprised.

    4) Finally found the first few JJ's album that would complete her collection.

    After months of hard searching, finally found the last 2 JJ's album that would complete her collection at some ulu out of the place shop. Once I confirmed that they have it, rushed down immediately, of course, she wins the power struggle. Actually, I don't know if there was even a power struggle.. "Either I buy from you, or you don't give me." Naise~

    5) Deliver yogurt to her doorstep to satisfy her cravings.

    Asked her out for lunch, which she mentioned that she did already, but had cravings for yogurt, but she can't eat due to a certain time frame in a lady's month. I deliver it to her anyway.

    6) Heartbroken at being ostracized.

    Found out from Kelly that she was the one who asked everyone if they want to change lessons to Monday. Yup, everyone except Yours Truly. For a SNAG like me, it was a fatal blow..

    Yup, nothing much really happened. The usual end-of-the-world-tempestuous-nerve-wrecking-turbulent feeling.

    I asked Germs if I have changed after getting to know her, she mentioned that I am a bit more emo, and drinks more than last time. Oh well, 借酒消愁　works, for that moment anyway..

    On a brighter note, she did wish me happy birthday at 00:00. And that, is the greatest birthday present I received at the age of 28. I like my love to be simple and pure, without all the power struggle and mind games. I shall devote myself to you, and hopefully you will reciprocate. However hard I try, it still takes 2 hands to clap. I really want to be with you, I want to fight for it, but you have to give me the chance to fight for it. If you don't open up the door, how can I fight my battles?

    When I asked her out after her prelims, she mentioned that she would be a lot more free after May, her finals. Which, according to Germs, is a delaying tactic that would not hurt me so much, from her perspective. I placed my bets on her. All or nothing. I shall stick to my decision.

    Cosmo memories forever....................................

     

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

  • She's the one.

    Finally made up my mind after some chats with Dom.

    "If you really like a girl, go all out, be a man."

    And that's what I did..

    I asked her out for dinner, and unknown to her, I booked the cable car sky dining thingy. Was a bit over, as said by ALLLLLL my friends.. But it was a good night, although what happened after that totally confuses me. She's been on my mind ever since, really can't get her out, am thinking, is this just another crush of mine? Or is she really the one who will complete me. Guess only time will find out..

    Since she said that its a bit too fast, we should go out in a group first, and finally to "Don't wanna waste other people's time.."... Am really thinking hard, should I give up giving her all the attention (unwanted).
    1 thing I know for sure, I'll won't give up thinking of her.. She's like the highlight of my day. Gloomy Monday morning can suddenly turn into the loveliest of all mornings. =)

    There's this once where she said that she had a really bad day, and did not want to talk about it when I asked.
    In a spur of the moment, Cat said during RT that he can drive me to her place. Haa!! I immediately took up the offer and went to Yishun to get some flowers with a card and a small chocolate. Next stop, her house, with Cat as the delivery man! LoL!
    Apparently, her dog is very alert, started barking once Cat went near. He fumbled a bit, its his 1st time after all. Hahaaa!
    Hope that little gesture lift her spirits up a bit, that's all that I ask for, to make her happy when she's down. =)

    Frankly speaking, I have never ever plan so much, do so much, think so much of a person before. Hope this doesn't turn into another tragedy.. If not I'll just give myself up to this corrupted ugly world which, unfortunately, I live in... Don't know how much longer can I retain my sanity..

    Cosmo memories forever..............................

Monday, 13 December 2010

  • Living a busy life, but is that enough?

    Been occupied with stuffs recently to alleviate my spirits, but am wondering, is just being busy enough?

    Feeling philosophical all of a sudden, thinking about the most primitive question, "What is life?"
    What do one live for in life? Is the result more important or the process? Good moralistic righteous person or evil callous heinous? Seems like I am going back and forth dancing along the line of balance...

    Was utterly disappointed by Cm and Kris. Due to my forgetfulness, I left my water bottle in the gym in Jurong Safra. Since they are going swimming there regularly, I asked them to help me pick it up, as I have informed the receptionist that I'll be collecting it soon. Cm rejected me by saying I don't see him often, so I should go pick it up myself. I am still ok, although slightly pissed by his unwillingness to help. What boils my blood is, Kris replied me saying "What Cm says is right, we don't see you that often." That is the last straw. What do you mean we don't see each other that often?? We see each other almost every week! Is this the best excuse you can come up with? What is so hard about just popping by the gym to take a damn blardy bottle? Is 20 steps of walking and a 100g bottle so very difficult for you guys??

    That is when I remembered a quote from Dom, "Keep the best, kick the rest". A stupid bottle is a small price to pay to see through you guys. I know who I can't depend on for help when I need it. You said we don't see each other often, fine by me. I will do just that.

    Attempted Standard Chartered 42km once again, but failed. At least I had some improvements over the previous attempt.
    This time round, was joined with more people, Jd, Cm, Kris, Fred, Wendy, Dom, Sy. Had a great time even though its another failed attempt. Saw several familiar faces, but that is about it. Its just another event to occupy my otherwise boring life.

    The highlight of my recent activities is my Japanese class! Went out with Aska-chan and Yamamoto-chan, together with Evelyn, Kelly and Aaron. They are a fun bunch to be with, especially Evelyn, she's like the 开心果　of the group. Totally loquacious! She's also quite cute and all. Sent her back on our 3rd outing, as she's still a student, and me being a male chauvinist and all, can't bear to let her go back alone.

    As the saying goes, there's no such thing as being perfect. Soon, the 'but' comes along. Not sure if she take things seriously or just being petty, but there's this incident of her being in that case. Oh well, life's not a bed of roses.

    I want to do so many things, but with my severely limited resources, I can only think and dream about all those. I want to join all the running events, I want to learn dancing, so I can dance with the music that I like. I want to dabble with stocks. I want to take a MBA to increase my knowledge, I want to go travel around the world, visiting the places that I like. I want to have a soul mate, I want to fall in love starting with a quaint meeting with my other half. So many "I wants" but sadly, reality sucks.

    Am not the favorite student of life, hence, am in this pathetic state. Stuck within the mundane rat race that most people are a participant, although not by choice.

    Saw this quote "Thanks for being there when no one else is." Think, how many people would do that for another person? All else being equal, I would say pretty insignificant number. Sigh.. Growing old sure isn't pretty, but I am sure as hell gonna live through it the way I want!!!

    Cosmo memories forever..

Friday, 15 October 2010

  • Emotions DO cause physical pain.

    Started the week with a super cheerful mood. Who expected the week took a turn for the worst today..
    Not even the amusing 4-way conversation the previous day could compensate for..

    Started the day with a drowsy wake up syndrome, and don on a pair of striped shirt with striped pants, resulting in fashion disaster. Come knock off time, went to a building to find dinner, only to find vacant stores. Got advised to go to another store, only to turn out the morons cooked a bloody pot of food for 1 person share. Was thinking what else could go wrong, and my shirt's button came off. My mood took a sharp dive from there onwards.

    Coupled with my emo songs, totally felt like crap. It was then that I re-realized that emotions do cause pain. Sigh.

    Entered my Japanese class 15min late, and I thought I was late when I saw Evelyn enter. Phew, at least that's a saving grace for the day. It turned better during the class, with the hilarious Takahashi-san, blur+cute Evelyn and nice Qy. Kinda recover my mood. Thanks! =)

    Cosmo Memories Forever..................................

Monday, 04 October 2010

  • おもしろ!!!

    02/10/10, Saturday

    Messaged Grace last week on when is she free for a meal or something, and she finally replied on Thursday asking if I am free on Saturday for lunch! Was so excited to receive her message, thought it would be another case of just saying something and forgetting about it. I replied her saying to meet at 12 at Wild Honey at Mandarin Gallery, a place which I have been wanting to try out for quite some time. She countered at 1230, which naturally, I agreed.

    On that day, was quite excited, and I went out early, even though I fully expect myself to be waiting for her. Reached there at 1200, went to put my name on the waiting list and went to listen to my nano + play games on it. Was playing all the way till she called me when she reached, at that moment, I did not realized that it was a 70min wait for her, only know that it was a 100min wait for entry into the restaurant. Food was not too bad, service was excellent! We stayed there and chatted for a good 4 hrs, till when I had to leave for Weimin's daughter's 1 year old birthday chalet at Downtown East.

    What did we chat about? From biking, to work, to life's perspective, and finally to love and relationship. Shared with her on all my previously failed attempt, while she shared with her past. I like how her mindset is, that she tries to do what she wants, and that freedom is an important aspect of her life. Which is pretty much similar to where I am now. Freedom. The freedom to make the decision that you think is correct, and the courage to accept the consequences that comes along with it.

    What attracted me to her was her bubbly personality, together with her petite built. After the meal, she got a +ve points from her mindset of doing things which she thinks is correct. After today's reminder from Sy, she got -ve points on her lateness, which I did not realize it at all till Sy pointed out..

    Asked if I will meet her again, considering the +ve and -ve, yup, I will. The +ve kind of overwrites the -ve portion.

    Of course, all these meetings are purely platonic. Am totally brainwashed by the horror stories I heard at work. Freedom, is something which I am reluctant to give up at this point in time.

    ~~~

    Post update on volunteering

    For the 1st time in 2 years in my volunteering work in SCS, I finally noticed the presence of Yingming. She got a major change in her outlook that made me notice her. Previously, I only know of her as the quiet, plain Jane that comes for volunteer, never have I once initiated a conversation with her. This time round, She took off her spectacles, let down her hair, and her face suddenly become visible compared to her past, which her unkempt hair and big thick black spectacles blocking almost her entire face. During the last lesson of the semester, I arrived first, and she arrived second. I had a quick chat with her, and found out that she is actually still studying, a profession that I have lost touch with. Found out a bit about her profession and realized that she and Alvin are both in NUS Accounting course. Throughout the lunch from Julie, I kept looking at her direction, and I notice she looking back at my direction, maybe my bubbly outgoing personality attracted her? Haha!

    Went home and started chatting with her on MSN, using the pretense of talking about the volunteer's connection, which I managed to persuade her to consider going. (She had tuition and not sure if the parents are willing to change the date/timing for the tuition) I was chatting with a few person concurrently, and they were noticed of me chatting her up. Was telling Germaine that I managed to persuade her to go, and she reminded me that Alvin will be going with her, which I promptly reply saying that I will persuade her to go last minute! Due to my fast typing and handling of the keyboard, I did not realized that I was actually in Ym's window when I said the last sentence. Initial reaction was O.M.G. Totally embarrassed. Sigh. Tried to do some recovery work, but effects were lackluster at at best. Oh well, going to wait another semester before having the chance to get to know her better.

    What am I coming from for all these, I can only say that I want to get to know more interesting people to spice up my boring life. Am totally not going to give up my freedom for all the hassle of commitments.

    ~~~

    Another post update on Japanese Class

    Met this interesting person from my Japanese Basic 1 Term 1 from Ikoma. Qian Ying by name, and a journalist for SPH covering the crime watch on the chinese papers. How did I get to know her, will have to start from the beginning.

    On the very 1st lesson, Kris and I were late, as usual cause we were eating dinner even when we were running late. Ended up that when we went in, there was only 2 seats available. 1 is with a bunch of guys and siting beside an auntie. Another, surrounded by a group of young looking decent looking girls and seated beside a decently appeared girl (Qy). Was walking in front, and prodded by a natural instinct, I sat with Qy. On the very first lesson, I managed to click with her. 5mins into the lesson, I was already joking and making fun of her. Able to do this as we were both on the same wavelength.

    On the 2nd lesson, Kris was not able to make it for the lesson, and I was very early. So I sat right at the end of the class, I went to the Gents and when I came back, she was seated in the middle. I went up to her and used homework as an excuse to talk to her, and asked where her friends were. She replied saying that she was alone in the class, and that group of boisterous girls were not together with her. Of course, my next action was to shift my things up to her. From then on, she sort of became my partner and we would sit together whenever possible.

    On the 3rd lesson, was learning about asking for phone numbers during class. Kris went for Sunday's class on that week too. After lesson, as we were on the train, was trying to remember how to say the sentence and I saw her. So decided to use that to get her number. It sort of went like this.

    Me: Denwa bango wa nanban desu ka.
    Her: Ya, that's the way to say it.
    Me: Yup, so how do you reply?
    Her: *Puzzled* How? She never teach lei..
    Me: You can just reply by saying your hp number you know..
    Her: OHHHHH. *smiles and proceed to give me her hp in japanese*

    Whole experience was rather enjoyable. I am a process person more than a results person, in this context. Haha!

    Fast forward a few more weeks, and she would ask me if I am going for the class. Or that she would message me if she is not going for the class. Felt quite good that we can bond to such a level just by seeing each other once a week. Tried to get her out for a meal but failed. Seems that she is quite busy with her work and on her rest days, she would usually meet her friends. Highly unlikely that she is attached as she did not mentioned anything about a guy being in her life, usually is just friends. *shrug* I am going to just take it that she is unattached, not that it matters. 

    Kris has officially dropped out from Japanese Basic 1 Term 2 making excuses for having reservist and whatsnot. I am going to just carry on learning with Qy as my reliable partner! Besides, I am really interested in language.

    ~~~

    So, I have my Japanese lessons every Thursday, Fridays are usually spent with Survivors/ Stay home. Saturdays are usually spent with Knights/ Stay home. Sundays are usually spent with Badminton group. That leaves Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday after work slots. I have been trying to find an activity to put in Tuesday, leaving Monday and Wednesday to rest. I was thinking of salsa initially, but have to travel to town to take the salsa classes, which is quite far from my workplace. Next up, was thinking of learning a martial arts, and Muay Thai seems the most interesting out of them all. Emailed a few Muay Thai people, but have yet to receive a reply from them. Wondering if they know of the existence of internet... After the chat with Grace, maybe I can put the bike lessons into Mondays - Wednesdays for a short term goal. Even that, still have to sort out a long term schedule. Would definitely be putting something there, just have not figured out what exactly.. Dances/Martial Arts/Classes??

    Shall leave all these considerations for another day.


    Cosmo memories forever...

Sunday, 23 May 2010

  • Blasting week!~

    21st May, Friday

    Went KTV at NS@Hometeam at Balestier with Knights. Had a very enjoyable time. Sang 杀人之歌sssss. It became a glass of honey 菊花 for a song. Luckily the drinks are free flow... Jd recorded some of the songs we sang, including a horrendous Happy Birthday song to Dom... Haa!

    22nd May, Saturday

    Went to the long awaited paintball session with Knights to celebrate Dom's birthday. My 1st time playing paintball, and I can assure you that paintball is indeed pain!!! The shock was during the very 1st shot. I was like... W.. T.. F..!!! Damnnnnn blardy pain, instant blue-black with a bit of blood oozing out. Haa! That was during the 1st round.
    We had a total of 3 rounds, during round 2, I volunteered to be the one to plant the flag in the middle of a danger zone. I thought it was going to be quite fun, but once I ran out to plant, was immediately hit with shots on all sides! I'm such a easy target meh??? T_T
    Made it through 2nd round with tons of swollen blue-blacks.
    Round 3 was the most tiring. The firing went on for a while, till I was so tired, and the blardy mask keep fogging that I stood out in the open firing. Guess the other team's ran outta ammo. Haa!

    Overall, was a fantastic experience! Would love to play it again soon.

    Went for dinner at King's Louis at night at Vivo. Fantastic place with a medieval ambience. Food was great, the view is even better! A particular waitress caught my eye, Rachel by name. Was totally entranced by her throughout the dinner, the ring on her ring-finger did nothing to stop me from looking at her. =(

    Was supposed to watch ironman2 at cwp at 2200 hrs with Guo and co. Unfortunately, Dom's event drag out too long, in the end, reached there at 2350, watched the last 5min of Ironman2. Haa! Went for supper and caught up with the rest of them, Teck and gf, Ivan and ff, Guo and gf. LoL, as usual.

    23rd May, Sunday

    Woke up at 630 by a call from Cat, saying I'm late, which I am... Haa! Went to the train station at Tanjong Pagar.
    My very first time taking the train. My first impression upon reaching there was like... "This piece of junk metal doesn't really inspire much confidence huh... Does it even run at all?" LoL. Slept throughout most of the journey due to the 1.5hrs of sleep before this...Kluang doesn't really have much to shop, nothing interesting to explore. Pretty much a boring town. Had a nice lunch there though. Fumbled a bit for a ticket back since there's no train ticket for us back to Singapore. Realized that its actually quite easy to navigate through M'sia. Not as difficult as I would imagine. Transport to pretty much any place is easily available at affordable prices.
    If felt like it, could just take 2 hrs to travel to Kluang, and another few hrs to Mersing to stargaze. Haa!

    Reached JB at evening time, and Germs propose that we go to City Square for a walk, and we got a special custom officer to allow us to go through a back-gate to City Square instead of going in and out of the custom again. Haa!

    Had dinner at Kenny's Roger. Jy ordered a Spaghetti and it turns out to be Mee Rubus. Though sad for jy, but felt hilarious at the mee rubus. The so called spaghetti is really THAT terrible... it even tastes sour, which I told them, they already did us a favor by squeezing in the lime already. LoL

    Was the porter boy for the ladies shopping, as usual, not that I mind. =)
    As Jy put it, its my honor, or rather, more of my pleasure. Haa!

    Reached home at around 2130... Weekend is a blast! But am dreadfully tired and terribly deprived of sleep.. Hope next weekend would be another blast! Its a long weekend with a additional half day off for Wild Honey! =)

    Cosmo Memories forever..........................

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

  • Long Break~

    Birthday went and go, nothing spectacular.
    Met up with Cat and co. on Friday, Survivors on Sat, stayed home on Sunday, Met Colleen for dinner on Monday.

    Had this weird peculiar dream on Sunday night. It's a... senseless dream, about 2 girls. One that I knew, and another that have not appeared in my life. Its got a sad ending. Hope I will never have to turn into what I am inside the dream... >_<'''

    Just met Cat and Co. in vivo. What better than great fun and great food? LoL! Nice to have them in my life.

    Wanted to try out property. Requires a week course that costs 700 bucks. Greak risk? Not really, my plan was to get a temp job while doing property, sort of using the temp to tide me through the starting phase. What if I fail? Then just try again lo. Wanna use the remaining of my time to try out everything that I wanted to do.

    Live life with no regrets!!!

    Chris seems to have a bad time recently, something to do with his dad...
    Luckily I don't have that problem, anymore. Hahaa! It becomes easier when you let it go. Even though there will be a tiny little part of me that have the useless soft-heart effect, but I'm sure I'll get over it!

    ALL USELESS GUYS SHOULD JUST DIEEEEEEE

    If you're not able enough to raise a family, then don't.
    If you're not capable enough to have a gf, then don't.
    If you're not confident of giving the woman of your dreams happiness, then don't.

    Would rather this world let me down than I it. Woootz~

    Have finally decided that a certain physical attributes of a lady is very attractive to me.
    Girls that are the size of Ys, Jy are especially mesmerizing.
    They appeal to me more than those devilish figure type supermodels, anytime~

    =)

    Cosmo memories forever...................................................

Thursday, 07 January 2010

  • X'mas, New Year & Boredom...

    X'mas Eve

    X'mas eve was with a big group of people: Cat, Germs, Tl, Sm, Lz, Jy, Hl, Sy and Ms. Dined at Sun with Moon in this big round table in a room all by itself. Sort of like a private room to ourselves. Dinner was good, but the after event is even nicer!

    We proceeded to this place called Keppel@Marina. It's a small little island that used to be the Keppel Shipyard, transformed to a uber high end living place. There's not much to shop, only a bar/restaurant and a Tcc.

    It is truly a beautiful place, perfect for couples wanting to get away from the crowd on a public holiday. The kinda place with long stretch of walkway, facing the sea, with dim lights accompanied by the gentle waves.. I opted out of the KTV session, not really keen on singing on a X'mas eve.. After they left, I lingered behind for a while. Walked around the small island for a while, reflecting on my life so far. LoL.. Basically emo-ing alone there.

    New Year's Eve

    Met up with Kh for dinner @ Westmall (Finally got that dinner!). Dinner lasted for about 2 hours.. Hmmm... Her 'interesting' level dropped after the dinner. Found her to be more earthly and saintly, but nevertheless, still a good companion for a chat.

    Made my way to Amara Hotel for the countdown with Knights. Have to say this, Zf is super, duper, uber sticky with Yvonne!!!! While playing game, we have to split them up, he was going like "nooooooo.... I dun wanna be separated from youuuuuuuuuu" =___='''

    Am glad I never asked any girls to come with me to this event. The 1st part was utterly boring. Trying out the games that Dom made, totally not fun at all! The 2nd part was still okay, played some modification of the game "Murderer". Why change a game when it is already fun?? The modification was lame at best.. Tried ordering Mcdonalds for a good hour before finally going online to order. Went on to play the original version of "Murderer". There's this part where I am the detective and Ceph was just a commoner. He tried his best to convince us that another person is the killer, but everyone just voted against him. As a last resort, he said he was the detective, but with knights, no common logic could be used. Everyone STILL voted against him. The whole scene was damn hilarious, everyone was laughing like mad.

    We all KO at about 430. I was on the bed, but gave it up to Hf & Kp. Went to sleep on the ledge instead. Not comfortable, at all! So small that I can't even turn w/o falling off.. =(

    Breakfasted at this.... hawker center that Sy recommended. Most of the stalls are closed though, sucky breakfast, before finally making my way home for a good sleep!

    Boredom

    Following the December period of festive seasons, the normal boring mundane lifestyle ensues...
    Still sending out resumes, waiting for calls, irritating insurance agent's calls.. Sighz...
    The most interesting stuff now is to follow up on how a guy woo her! Hahaaa!

    Cosmo memories forever......................................................

Wednesday, 23 December 2009

  • Meet up with Zhiwei

    Met up with Zw on Monday. Its really good to see him again. His accent is a  tad too strong though, very westernized. Haa!

    Pour out everything that I can remember of my past year to him. Lingered quite a bit on the recent episode. I realized, the more I say, the more I thought of her. And the more I thought of her, the more rash I became. I think I gotta stop talking & thinking about this... This sux... Zw suggested getting a rebound. Haa!! Exactly what I had in mind! Except that I was thinking along the lines of reboundssssssss.

    Shopped around thinking of ideas for a card, then I realized, making cards is too much of a hassle. Went back, and saw the wooden cardboard lying around, hence I embarked on this journey to finish making a mini cupboard. It's harder than I thought, I dun really have enough material for mass production as well. I think the max I can make is 1 only...

    Asked Kh & Jac out for dinner sometime this week, and got rejected promptly by both. Haa! I'm used to rejections, so its ok. I'll just keep trying and trying, sooner or later I'll get that dinner. Muahahaa!

    Cosmo memories forever.........................................

Monday, 21 December 2009

  • Back from Krabi + Teck's gf!

    Was back from Krabi with Germs, Kh, Sm, Lz and Tl.
    Krabi was a fantastic place. It totally thrash all other beach resorts that I have ever been to. Be it Bintan, Batam, Redang, Tioman or Dayang. The scene there is breathtaking. I could stay there forever and just drink in the scenery. There are islands and rocks all around the main island itself.

    Day 1, 11th December
    Took plane at 2+ and reached there at around 4+. Only took around 1 hr 30 min to get there. Was quite disappointed by the location of our hotel stay. It's actually not a beach resort, but situated within the streets. Went to check out the packages for the tours to Phi Phi Island and the 4-Island tour. Dined at a place called Bernie's place. Its a buffet dinner for only 250B.

    Was aware that Tl was interested in Kh and thought of a way to let them get to know each other better. Played normal Big 2 and the rules are simple. The winner decides on a theme and the loser will have to answers the questions. Began the game with simple innocent questions like "Your most embarrassing moments", "Your most crazy moments" etc.. Till it finally went on to "Describe your most recent love experience". I lost that match, and I described my latest experience. No prizes for who I mentioned.... Anyway, just so happened that Kh lost the following match, and she described her latest experience. I feel sad for Tl at that point... =(

    Day 2, 12th December
    Went for the breakfast, which wasn't really all that fantastic. After that, we prepared to go for our Phi Phi Island tour. Enjoyed the tour immensely! The scenery has totally captured me. Felt quite emotional during the trip. Saw Kh brave attempt at swimming/snorkeling. She really do not know how to swim. After she got back, I think her phobia of water increased. She never went into the deep sea since then. At another point for snorkeling, was feeling not too keen on getting myself wet again. So I stayed on the boat with her. Continued to take in the beautiful scenery. Totally satisfied with the Phi Phi Island Tour.

    Kh puked several times during the speedboat ride. Saw how bad she was suffering, and realized that she REALLY cannot take searides...

    Dined at a pizza place, where they served pizzas that are so much better than local pizzas. Went on to follow the ladies for their usual night shopping. Was not very happy at some point in time, so did not really bother to think of anything to do during the second night. Just kept watching some zombie show on the television. Night ended with the guys going back to the room to carry on with the show.

    Day 3, 13th December
    Went on for the 4-Island Tour. Finally persuaded Kh to join us for the tour. This time, it was a 1 motor long-tailed boat. Sat on the deck most of the time, instead of at the lower level of the boat where most of the people were. I skipped other snorkeling places. Until Tl jio-ed me to jump into the water at the deck of the boat. Was feeling damn exhilarated while jumping down without any masks/lifevest. Hahaa! Totally addicted to the jumpinmg. Shall do these for my future trips!

    During the ride, was feeling quite shoik, yet had a feeling that I was missing...something...someone... Someone had left quite a deep print in my heart for these seaside holiday.. Sigh...

    The emo-ness stayed with me all the way.. Even others commented that I was feeling strangely quiet.. Its just.. I don't really feel like talking, was thinking more instead of talking..

    Dined at this seafood place. The prawns is like freakkkkkking big. The biggest that I have ever seen actually. The food is mostly bbq-ed, yet tastes great! Germs suggested that we do something while waiting for the food. So we began asking questions.

    Only remembered a few questions and answers.
    Germs: Drinks that she disliked, Fanta Orange
    Sm: Fastfood that she likes, Mos Burger
    Kh: Fried food that she is ok with eating, Home-fried chicken wings

    Was feeling better after the dinner. Went on to buy all the local food to try it out. The Pha-thai is quite good, so is the local fried rice. Played some 中级密码 to cleared up the remaining food. It was actually quite boring to play this game.. So I suggested to play the game of "Police, Thief & Medic". Which can reveal their persuasion powers and how good are them at lying! Muaha, quite enjoyed the game. Stopped the game at around 1230. Went back and had a good chat with Tl till around 3+.

    Day 4, 14th December
    Woke up, had our last breakfast at Krabi. Took the minibus back to the airport. I told Tl, this is the last chance for him to interact with Kh. I even tried to help him by putting their passports together when checking in. Sadly, their seatings are STILL not next to each other. Wondered how they plan the seats... We got the whole row of six seats to ourselves. I held Tl back while boarding, I reckon that with the four ladies and two sets of three seats, they would probably divide themselves into two's. Let Tl board first and I was right on. They were seated in twos, whats best, Kh was sitting at the outter side. We headed in their directions and woolaa~ For some obsure reasons that elude me, Tl actually went to sit with Sm & Lz.... I stood there for 2s while I tried to understand what the hell Tl is doing... -___-'''

    Sat next to Kh and chatted with her instead. Found out that she is actually a very interesting person to tease. Haa. Her serious face coupled with the fact that she can't lie. Had a great time enjoying my flight back to Singapore.

    Dispersed after shopping for some stuffs at the DFS.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~End of Krabi~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Logon and realized that I am actually looking forward to the "you are back!" msn msg..

    Called her on the night right after I got back. Talked to her about for around an hour. This chatting is kinda becoming a habbit. Am convincing myself that it is purely between friends, but is it? I wonder..

    Called her on Wed night, Sat night, as well as Sunday morning. The frequency is getting higher, perhaps I can lower/stop this calling during her few busy days ahead ba..

    On a better note, Teck has finally found another girl for himself! Haa! Its the same one as I saw last time when she picked Teck and me to Sh's wedding. Haa! Hope that this would be the right girl for him!

    Feels kinda lost with my life now. Wondering what am I doing to it... Sigh...

    Cosmo memories forever.....................................................................

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

  • Love by Numbers

    Have been reading this book "Love by Numbers"
    Its not really a book that teaches you stuffs. Instead, the author uses statistics to explain some of the more mundane events that are associated with love. Shall try to point out some of the more interesting points that had happened to me in some point of life or another..

    Chat up lines:

    A chat up line works if it shows you off to some advantage, by making you look interesting, humorous, athletic or rich. Questions seem to work better than statements, as it engages the person more rather than a 1-sided conversation. Surprisingly, the winning chat-up line is "What is your favourite pizza topping?". They engage the person without delving too deep into the person's inner self. The worst chat up lines are "I have a PhD in computing" and "My best friend is a helicopter pilot" (LOL!!! Damn...)

    There's this chat up line inside the book that is quite interesting "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" This double meaning phrase serves as a indication to test the target's innocence level, intelligence, wittiness, and the way they think of sex. Haa!

    Mate poaching

    The art of stealing a friend's partner. It is certainly rude, underhand, emotionally fraught and morally dodgy activity. The methods that poachers use are simple but effective. Slowly invading the target's social network - means sliding up to her friends.

    As Germs put it, there is a similar term in Chinese "爱屋及屋", which is a better sounding term. Haa!

    Pluralistic Ignorance

    The meaning of Pluralistic Ignorance can be simply described as how people see someone behaving like them, but infer they are doing so for different reasons.

    This particular definition immediately set me laughing. Seems to see quite a lot of people doing that, including myself.
    Example:
    Stop doing that.
    But you do that too!
    I'm different.

    That's just a general case of what pluralistic ignorance are. =)

    Holiday Romance

    Holiday romances are not known for their longevity, because normal rules of engagement are suspended. On holiday, you will see each other everyday, instead of a few days in a week. That is probably unrealistic in real life.
    Point about holiday is to spend time with friends, don't dilute your judgment with too much alcohol and don't intensify the relationship.

    Self explanatory. =)

    Ex or Hex

    2 lines, "All's fair in love and war" and "Thou shalt not date your friend's ex". There's quite a few ugly terms, such as recycling and sloppy seconds. This is not as serious as poaching your friend's partner, but comes close to it. Dating your friend's ex is not going to delight them. Your friend might wonder if you have always lusted after their partner while they are still together, leading to down-hill conversations.

    I like the 2nd phrase. =)

    Keeping a relationship secret

    The rationale that a couple will be less embarrassed if the whole deal does not work out if no one knew about it in the first place is somewhat misguided. You might think sharing a secret brings people closer. The quality of secret relationships falls quickly because after the initial excitement it's too much like hard work. Most poeple in secret relationships get fed up of lying to friends about why they are not around some weekends and of reassuring their family that being single is great. There's also the problem of secrecy being a barrier to couples getting close; you can't get support from others about how you feel, you can't have PDA.

    I have always thought keeping a relationship secret is the 1st step to a courting ritual. Sharing a secret DEFINITELY brings one another closer. I have to disagree with the book on this point, at least in Singapore's context.

    Poles Apart
    "Love is blind", suggest you can fall for anyone, should you get the chance to meet them. But psychologists argue it's temporary. You can usually see again after 3 months or so. Usually couples seem to hook up on the basis of quite skin-deep similarities and see if it works out afterwards.

    Have read about this particular topic on some other sites, saying that wouldn't it be boring if you were doing things with someone like you all the time. Liking the same book, eating the same thing, with the same views and thoughts. It does sounds kind of boring, embrace diversity, it is a good experience to exchange views and thoughts, growing together. =)

    Cosmo memories forever............................................................

Saturday, 24 October 2009

  • Interesting day

    Today started out slow and bad.
    Waited in the clinic for the goddamn doctor for a good 2 hrs, and for a few pieces of information that I already have. Shall not visit them in future, kinda useless.

    Was supposed to meet Linda for lunch at 1230, due to the wait, Linda's stomach have to accompany me in the waiting. As she was calling me, I was actually on my way to the bus stop. She asked me how time already, and where am I. I told her I was at Bukit Panjang, heading down town le. While saying that, I U-turned and headed for the taxistand. Was quite funny from a 3rd party viewpoint. Haa!

    Had a chat with her over Tony Romas, the servings are incredibly hugeeeee. We sit there and chat idly for a good 90min, till she was like... "Eh, I think I gotta rush back already..." Haa! Some of the sacrifices for the working personnels.

    Headed to Lido to get the movie tix for Col, as well as to get 1 for myself. Caught the (500) days of Summer. Quite an interesting show. There's a few quotes inside the movie that I quite like.

    "Why do we have to label what we are now."
    "Aren't you happy now, ain't that enough?"

    Why do you need to label yourself as a bf/gf/couple? Isn't being happy together enough?
    Inside the show, Summer was saying she doesn't want to get attached, she just want to be friends. In the end, she wind up married to a guy that she met for a few mths due to fate. A random guy just came up to her and ask her about a book, and viola~ They are married in the end. Hmmm... The ending was quite funny though, "Hi, I am Autumn". Leaves the main actor wondering whats in for him for the next 500 days.

    Hang around Lido while waiting for Col to arrive. She fell asleep on the bus and din pick up my phone! Walked till I am almost tempted to go get a book in border to sit down on some cafes to read.. Arghz.

    Had dinner with her, then LL came. I was the one that pointed out LL has arrived. Col was a little surprised that I could recognize her. I'm a little surprised myself. Haa! She was actually quite late for the movie. The introductions sort of goes like this (as far as I remembered, I was concentrating on someone else..)
    LL: Hi, LL here.
    Me: Hi, Kenny here. I think you're in a rush.
    LL: Yeah.
    Me: I'll make a move, See ya!
    LL: Bye.

    Nice little short conversation (If you call that a conversation..).
    Anyway, 1st impression, she's quite cute.

    Went on to meet NM for steamboat dinner. The weather is blardy hot, and the steamboat isn't making temperature any colder... Sighz... The food sucks, the environment sucks, the services sucks, the companions are quite funny though. Went on to Bugis Arcade to hang around for a while. Felt damn old! =(

    Tried calling Col if they were going for a drink. They were. My phone's battery started blinking, and I was hoping they could give me the place before it went flat. Luckily for me, Col did. Just as I finish the phone, my LG Renoir give off a happy little chirp saying that its going to take the rest of the night off.

    Met them at Acid Bar. Though the songs were nice, its actually better than Walas', I decided to perma ban that place. Reason being, it has a huge crowd of blackies. =( LL corrected me that the term blackies shouldn't be used like that, the actual meaning actually refers to the negros. Of course I know that, this is used in Singapore's context though.

    Halfway through the conversation, I realized that LL is a much much better speaker than I was. She can engage people very well, even though they are complete stranger like me. She asked me this stunning question,"Why would you want to come over and meet us when you don't know me at all." Being still in shock, I mumbled some reply saying that its Friday night, and that I'm open to making friends. She continued by saying that girls don't really like to meet people in this way. Haa! Don't you just luv the way the conversation is heading!

    I guess my score for the night is..:
    Physical outlook: 1/10
    Personality: 1/10
    Charisma: 1/10

    Though the score I gave her was:
    Physical outlook: 8/10
    Personality: 9/10
    Charisma: 8/10

    Looking at the score sheet, its kinda hard to find another day to meet her again. But hey! It was a good day nonetheless. =)

    Cosmo memories forever....................................................

Friday, 23 October 2009

  • Drunk!

    Was feeling the reel from the impact that it is actually 21st Oct yesterday. The year before, was working, hence, at most got 6 hrs or so of thinking. This year, I got like 24 hrs of time on my hand.

    Felt damn emo, a person with his hands full of time and nothing to accomplish would only result in 胡思乱想...
    Decided to try jio-ing people for a drink.. Tried Cat, Ter, Teck, Col, Rw. In the end, only Col can make it... Haiz... Hate weekdays, where everyone is too tired to go anywhere else after work..

    Drank 1/3 of the Chivas at home, was feeling quite pathetic, and frankly speaking, quite sorry for myself as well...

    Was planning to head to Sushi Tei for dinner, unfortunately, some richass booked the whole place for a private function. We had to adjourned to another Japanese place, called Raku Japanese Restaurant. They serves decent food, but a tad too ex. I tried the Urchin Nigiri Sushi. It looks cooked, but is actually semi raw.. Din quite like the taste or texture of it. The salmon was nice though, and that's all that is needed.

    Headed on to Wala after that, the band sucks big time. Its only a 2 person band, till after an hour later, the drummer arrives. The songs weren't that great either.

    I don't think I drank all that much, was only...4 glasses of beer. I think subconsciously, I want myself to get drunk.. Don't really feel like going through the rest of the day sober. After a while, I discovered that I couldn't really stand still. Was quite happy about that, at least the alcohol are doing their job.

    Promised Col that I would sent her home, sadly, I was in no condition to send her home, in fact, I was in no condition to do anything else besides lying down on some staircase.. Asked Hb to sent Col home instead, he was nice enough to offer to send me back as well, of course, I am not really keen to be home so early... I hung around the place trying to clear my mind of all those jumble of thoughts..

    I think I even messaged Rw saying something like "All the best in ya life!" At that point, he must have deduce that I am quite drunk. I vaguely remembering he sending me some reply which was lost under my then disposition..

    I struggled up after a while, deciding to go back to Wala for more drinks. Unfortunately, I was disoriented, till I am not sure which direction is Wala. I think I must have been walking around in circles, as I took roughly an hour to make my way to some main roads. Throughout that walk out, my phone kept ringing. I picked up the calls, some of them anyway. I think I mumbled quite a bit on the phone, and I remember sitting beside a drain near a bustop. More than a pair of eyes were on me, this human meatball that wobbles down the street.

    At a point in time, I was trying to make my way back home, from the main road. I forgot that I was supposed to hire a cab home, and I continue walking, walking, walking till I see I am surrounded by buildings with no roads. I saw a lady walking her dog at this unholy hour, and asked for directions leading to....Wala (I have no idea why I am going back..). After one of the phonecalls, I think Col told me to take a cab home instead of walking around. At that time, I just follow whatever things people says, and just hop on to a cab, telling him my address, and promptly KO.

    The next moment, I was woken up by the uncle, saying that I reached. Hop down the cab and manage to make my way home w/o falling down. I went on to shower and slept. For some obscure reasons that deluded me, I woke up at 3am, feeling damn blardy awake! I tried to close my eyes and sleep, but my mind is still super clear. In the end, I woke up, turn on my laptop till 7am.

    My bioclock totally malfunction yesterday. Overall, a day for a big serving of self-reprimanding, reflections & wallowing in self pity. Delightful.

    Cosmo memories forever...................................................


Wednesday, 21 October 2009

  • Timeless regret

    In a blink of an eye, a year has passed. Its that time of the year again, the day which I will definitely think back of the past. Of the times where I did the one thing that is totally unforgivable.

    Its been what... 8 years? The feeling of guilt is still as strong as when that incident happened... I tried hard, very hard to tell myself to let go of those things in the past, unfortunately, the merciless scar in my heart won't relent. The past images keep floating and assault my mind, relieving those scenes again and again. Felt like I'm trapped in a timelock, an endless repetitions of the fateful day. The momentary happiness, the despair faced, and eternal regret that comes along with it..

    Few months back, I think Ter came over, he asked me, why is that 'P' still stuck on my cupboard?? I just shrug it off, mumbling some incoherent words. Deep down, that 'P' serves as a painful reminder. Never ever to commit that same mistake again. I vowed never to do something so despicable ever again, death would be prefered over that. It strikes at the very core of my way of life. That 'P' would remain, as long as I draw breath. It shall be my eternal companion, even till the pit of death itself.

    Recently, been receving comments, compliments actually, on my diving companions, noteably Col. Jd says she's pretty, Kris says she's pretty. Hmm, just wondering if Kris/Cm would be compatible for her.. Jd is definitely out, being attached + frivolous. Haa! Tried to expand Kris' social circle by introducing Jo to him, might be due the fact that Col's standing next to her, he only wanna know Col. @#*(&%*(#@&%(*#@% Darn picky! =(

    Covered 5km this morning, 8km at night, trying hard to train for my marathon. I feel there should not be any problem completing it within the 8hr timeframe. Averagely 5.3km/hr would do the trick. Been reading up on some marathon prep methods. Most suggest doing around 65km/wk. Shall try to do just that. The running would definitely clear my mind of all the worldly matters.

    Still have 6 shaw vouchers, expiring end of the month. Problem is that there is no one to accompany me to watch movies. Sighz.... Guess I have to just burn all of them.

    I think I forgotten about the outing with HL, was supposed to go out with her a fortnight ago, it just totally slips my mind. One would think that a bummer like me would have enough time to remember all these. Its just that I'm getting old. My short term memory loss symptoms seems to be getting more and more severe..

    Feeling damn melancholy~~~~~ Any stars free to cheer me up a bit? =(

    Cosmo memories forever.......................................

Monday, 19 October 2009

  • Back!~~

    Ever since I quit, I have been living a carefree life. My daily routine is sort of like the following:

    Woke up by the blinding sun, together with the heat...
    Decide to go back to sleep, or to wake up.
    Choosing between running, swimming, gaming, reading, cooking or just watching tv.
    Watch tv at 8pm till 10pm. Play a bit of game or read, sleep.

    This is definitely a good life to lead. Free and easy, nothing to worry about, that is till my savings runs dry...

    Its been a month plus, and I seems to store enough of the break for my next run in my future job. Time to wake up and get serious for building my career! I am going to aim for health care sector! Hopefully my interview would be able to get me a job there.

    During my break, I went to a few places for holiday. Firstly is the Dayang's diving trip.

    Was freaking excited about the diving trip, as I like sea sports a lot! Partnered with Ym, was quite surprised that Ter is joining us for the trip, was not informed till the day itself, then he just suddenly pop up. Met Col's colleagues Joanna & Pp. Quite a funny bunch of ladies, especially Joanna. She's like a natural joker. Never fails to bring up the atmosphere. Haa!

    Was cramped into this small quad-sharing room together with Ym, Zach & Felicia. Did not really talk alot in the room as there's no one like Joanna around.. So the room is essentially just a place for us to sleep.
    The 1st dive was quite terrible, as we had to fiddle with the unfamiliar equipments. I had trouble kneeling in water, as shown in the pool training, and it got worse in the sea. Was practically floating up and down without touching the seabed.. and when I force myself to go down, i got stabbed by the stupid looking corals.... As a result, my knee got disfigured almost immediately.. =(

    During the subsequent dives, saw more interesting stuffs, like the soft corals with nemos swimming in it, and a poor sea turtle that got chased around by 20 over divers! Haa, almost felt sorry for the turtle. Saw a stingray hiding under those hugeass corals too! Other that that, is just schools of fishes swimming around.

    Another highlight of the dives is during the last dive, when Ter, Ym and me are buddies. Ter went and di siao a pair of titan trigger fish that result in the fish attacking him. When the fish chased him suddenly, I was just at most 3m away from him. I instanly laughed out loud. Now, it is not an easy thing to know your laughter underwater, and is definitely not easy to laugh out loud too. A lot of bubbles came from my side during that time. LoL, thinking back, maybe I should go and reinforce him to fin the fish off, but it was just too funny for me to do anything!

    Overall, the diving trip is a good experience for me.

    Next up was my trip to HK with my family. I like HK. First thing first, it's quite similar to Singapore, and that puts a person back into the comfort zone. Secondly, the girls there are the type of girls that will attract me. Quiet, reserved, demure looking girls. With the thick black rimmed specs on, I am totally pawned by their outlook... Only thing lacking is that they speak mostly in cantonese... The barrier between them and me is instally up, and quite a strong barrier at that.. =(

    Visited a temple in one of the MTR stations, and another one at the top of the hill. Now that trip was one scary trip. We decided to take the cable car up to the temple as the bus ride would take approximately an hour, while the cable car would only take 25-30min. Logically speaking, most unsuspecting people would take the cable car. The trip up was okay, nice view, with a small family as companion. The trip down is one hella experience. As we begin the journey down, the winds started getting stronger. Just as we were halfway down, the shaking of our cable car begins to get scary. The shaking got so terrible that at one point, the cable car stopped moving. Yup, it just left us hanging in midair, exposing us to the merciless winds that pound on our fragile looking cable car. It shook left and right for a good 20s before it decided to move again. During that interval, there was silence. No one dare to speak, it seems like everyone was holding their breath. I guess we were all praying for the maintenence to be effective... Once we read ground, everyone left out a sigh of relief. I don't think I would ever wanna take the cable car up there again..

    Other than that, went shopping at 女人街, then another place of interests is the 蜡像馆. Nothing much that really captures my interests. The Peak is another thing though. The scenary there is breathtaking! Overlooking most of HK. Its definitely a place for me to bring my other half. =)

    Next up is the trip to Macau, Venetian. The place is an imiatation of Venice, but its enough for me to feel overwhelmed. There are even gondalas there, for a hefty price of course.. The street lamps, together with the architecture and the painted celling, will instantly ingite the romance mood. It would be a good experience to just take slow walks beside the winding river, just enjoying each other's company in the Venice-like environment with air conditioning. Haa!

    To summarize, HK is another place that I would definitely like to visit again.

    Last and final trip till I get another job, Tioman Dive!

    The Tioman dive trip is even better than the Dayang's dive trip.

    To begin with, the journey there was better, we took a coach there, with proper cushioned seatings. The 3 hr boat ride was terrible though. There wasn't any air conditioning inside, and the sea was rough. Halfway through, Felicia wanted a smoke, and she wanted to go up to take in some fresh air, but Kiat advise us not to, as the sea's quite rough. We decide to go to the upperdeck instead of the ship's bow. Just as I was leaning back and admiring the most beautiful night sky I have ever seen in my life, I saw a streak of light in the vast cosmos! What was going through my mind was this: "Hmm, is that a shooting star, yeah, I think so, Yes, that was definitely a shooting star.... SHOOTING STAR!!!!!!" I jerk up and turn back to look at it again, of course, I am not so lucky to be able to see 2 shooting star in a row, but that alone was enough to make the whole boat ride worthwhile!
    I shared one of my dreams with Col & Felicia, to open a cafe in the middle of a desert with beautiful night skies like this. Haa! Its just a dream, not really meant to be feasible. Felt good to be under such amazing nightskies.

    The sleeping arrangment was supposed to be Col, Pp, Jason & Me. It ended up being all the 3 guys bunking together. Not that I have anything against it, but w/o anyone to entertain me at night, I dread that it would be like last time.. and of course, it DID turn out like last time. The room is just a place for sleeping. Period.

    During the night bbq, we saw some firecrackers being fired off, which in turn fired off our curiousity. We checked with Kiat and he brought us to uncle that sells those. We fired off a series of it, with me closing the whole event with a finale burst of fine-flower-type firecracker! Was totally awesome! Felt soo magical too. Haa. Saving the best for the last.

    Some of the highlights of the trips are, sea turtles, stingrays, and a miniature coconut tree lookalike under water, beds and beds sea urchinssssssssssss, experiencing low-on-air signs and going through underwater tunnels!!! Shiok! Some of the sites have low visibility, coupled with my mask-that-keeps-fogging. I was essentially a blind man in water. Only way to resolve that is to keep clearing my mask with the water. I had to do it so often that I decide to keep some water inside my mask, so that it acts like a wiper. I have to shake my head every few seconds that it would seems like I am high on drugs. Cecelia thought I had problems clearing water out of my masks till I explained to her my rationale of keeping water inside the masks. It happened every dive, that Col gave me the (-____-''') look everytime she saw me shaking my head underwater. It became kind of hilarious.

    That pretty much sums up everything that happened throughout the past few months. =)

    Cosmo memories forever.............................................................

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

  • Life still goes on...

    Its been 4 months since.. Whatever it is, life still goes on..

    Some updates for the past few weeks..

    RWM has started once again, the twins are utterly adorable!! Am gonna steal them away from Kris.. In comparison, the duo kids of mine appears not cute.. =(
    Went to the Volunteers Connection held in Excelsior Hotel, organized by SCS, a day for volunteers to relax and enjoy. Am quite surprised that most of the volunteers does not look good. On television, it always shows the kind, caring person as a beauty hidden away from the world, but in reality, it's not so.. >.<"
    Was totally bored at the event that Kris, Cat and me went to the coffee place (forgot what is it) to wake ourselves up. Cm being the lamer and wierdo, skipped the event....
    After the event, dined at subway with Germs and Cat at Anchor point. Went on to ikea to get my ball lamp! =)


    Went hiking a couple times more..
    Recap:
    1st trip: Pauleen, Pauleen's fren, Desmond, Jennifer, MY, ZB, Kabir, me
    2nd trip: Pauleen, Ben, Teddy, me
    3rd trip: Pauleen, James, Jen, me
    4th trip: TBA

    Now more about Jen, she and KH are on the top of my entertainment list now. LoL

    1st outing: St James (Pauleen, James, KH, me)
    We went to St James cause Pauleen says she got someone to introduce to KH, I was sort of invited to tag along.. It was the 1st time for all of us, as we are not the chiongster type, we kind of figured our own way into one of the place, a Jazz place, which is kind of boring. We waited for Jen for almost an hour plus. I was still feeling quite alright, I mean, girls are ALWAYS late. No big deal being late for an hour plus, moreover, it might really be that she's late due to work. When she finally arrived at around 1030, was quite stunned. She's actually quite decent looking. Sweet kind of face, soft spoken, looking a bit shy, yet still able to talk to us. We hang around for a while in that Jazz place, when she went to the dancefloor, I saw that she has a tatoo on her back.. Was instantly -____-"""
    As it's really boring at that place, we went on to Dragonfly, where Jen wanted to go meet her friends. Next stop being Powerstation. Each time we change place, the energy level got higher. Haa! Ended quite late at around 1+, we went on to sup porridge at some place nearby. It might be the alcohol or something, but she started teasing all the people around her, including me. =( After supper, she went on to meet her another group of friends till 6am…

    2nd outing: Suntec KTV (Pauleen, KH, Jen, Grace, Derek, Me)
    Went for a KTV session after Monday work. Wierd day to go for a ktv.. As usual, Jen arrived late, though Pauleen arrived even later! I sort of created an opportunity for her to sit next to KH, while I went on to sit next to Grace. Was impressed by Grace's singing of English songs. She's petite, yet can deliver quit a punch in her singing. Was especially mesmerized by a song by Celin Dion "A New Day Has Come". Since the ktv, the song has repeated roughly a few hundred times. =D Of course, once this news spread out, they thought I took an interest in Grace.. Pauleen even told me to get ready for a rough time, as she and her martial-arts-instructor bf has a stable relationship of many years.. I was like..."Please! You all think too much!!! >.<''' "
    Was trying to get a shot of KH and Jen together, but no such opportunity presents itself, for some reason, after Grace left early (her bf fetching her..) she came over and sat beside me while Pauleen moves over to KH's side... Took a video of her singing F.I.R. 月牙弯. Her singing's so-so.. Not as impacting as Grace's. =)

    3rd outing: Tracking (Pauleen, James, Jen, Me)
    The most recent of events. Was supposed to go tracking with a few other people. All but 4 of us were left, due to various reasons like rituals, sick, arriving too early (Yes! Desmond arrived too early and din bring his phone, so we missed him!). This was quite memorable, as I made another lady wait for an hour for me. Muahahahaa!! The next lady to do this after Ys. LoL..
    She stayed in the east, and thought that the meeting time was 0830, so she got up at 0645, on a Sunday, and travelled all the way to Bishan MRT to wait. LOL! Can't stop laughing... Anyway, I felt kinda guilty after that, so I got her breakfast (which is only a cup of orange juice…) at Mac. James came over and fetched us to Macritchie for the tracking. At first, I thought, she being hold up in office all day long, should not be too sporty. After chatting with her throughout the hike, I discovered that she's actually rather sporty. She's also quite into sea-sports! Cable-ski, sun-tanning, kayak-ing etc..Chatted quite a bit on that, till James commented that we had found a common topic.. I stopped talking about sea-sports from that moment.. Better to curb all these rumors-to-be before they grow.. I sort of asked her what is the longest time she ever waited for someone, she replied "Yeah, this lor.." Was instantly struck down by guilt..and laughter! Haa! Imagine, she having quite a few suitors waiting for her all the time, having to endure the longest wait she ever got for a stranger! Wootz! Ego boost~ =P
    The hiking progress was quite slow, as there's only so few of us, and we were kinda strolling instead of hiking. Took almost 4 hrs to reach Beauty World hawker. Bought her lunch as well, till she told me she's really not angry. Even then, I'll still feel guilty de mah.. End of the event, actually found her to be quite cute, not the chiongster type that I imagined her to be. She can do those stupid things like self-praising, jumping like a rabbit, running a few steps every once in a while and making fun of me… -___-"

    Went out with Survivors to this place called Paulaner. Its at Millennium Walk. Of course I got lost along the way.. That is to be expected, but what I did not expect was that Ys knew I was lost.. She confronted me:"You got lost again right?" I was like...shit........ Was just chatting till they suddenly asked me, am I still sad over her.. I gave them an incredulous look while saying "NO!".... Of course I have not gotten over her yet.. I wish I could get over her... Sighz...

    Saw 1st hand how some guys chatted up girls they completely don't know, as in the case for Apple. Haa! She met her Uni friend, and the 1st thing he asked was "So are you attached or single?" Nice lar! Bravo!!! Short and sweet, not to mention being overly blunt and tactless. Haa! Hilarious.. Then his friend came over and started chatting with Apple, with her ignoring him all the way. Rofl. When she came back and told us what happened, she said the guy even asked her, am I her bf. Now here, the point is not that I was assumed to be her bf, is her expression when saying out that line, she dramatize with her hands out wide and saying "Wah Lao Eh~" I know I'm not that high in any lady's eyes, but don't need to emphasize on that mah... =(

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End of event updates.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Am going to join Standard Chartered Full Marathon! Haa! Was thinking of jio-ing NM-ers, but they don't seem to be too keen on it. Only person I managed to persuade was Ter.. She upgraded her 10km to 42km.. Haa! This is sort of like a challenge to myself, to conquer 42km.. I only heard from Cm saying the despair he felt while doing 42km, like never ending trip.. If there wasn't a time limit, I'm pretty sure I would be able to complete it, but if there is a time limit of say..8hrs... Which means that I would have to do 5.25km/hr.. That is not going to be easy... and I have to repeat it for 8x... Was thinking of not training and just go for the run straight, after considering this, maybe I need some form of training regime fixed up.

    Cosmo memories forever..........................................................